Jul 30, 2010

The Cost of Douchebaggery




According to the Silicon Valley Mercury News, last week's rally in support of former BART Police officer Johannes Mehserle will cost Walnut Creek taxpayers upwards of $60,000.


In a continued effort to impart perspective and mockery, I have employed my 12th grade remedial mathematics skills to come up with a few other things for which that money could have been used:


1) 1,000 tickets to the live Bold Fresh Tour, starring Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly


2) new truck to transport the 30-foot billboard depicting an aborted late-term fetus, which pro-lifers display routinely outside the Walnut Creek Planned Parenthood


3) 6,000 boxes of Franzia White Zinfandel


4) complete mommy-makeovers for four needy soccer moms (includes post-op wardrobe furnished by Lululemon Athletica!) 


5) 3,000 Viagra tablets


6) small yogurt (with topping!) from Yogurt Park for every teenage girl in Walnut Creek


7) one-year’s supply of donuts for every officer in the Walnut Creek Police Department


8) one-year’s salary for a previously pink-slipped Oakland teacher, plus more than $20,000 in school supplies for the 2010-2011 academic year


9) $100 PF Chang’s gift card for every black person in Walnut Creek


10) one million teabags
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1 comments:

theTsaritsa said...

Mommy makeovers?

That's a lotta tea bags.

 
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