Jan 17, 2011

Sarah Palin: The Ed Wood of Politics and Also Possibly a Jew

Sometimes I wish I could be a little bit more like Sarah Palin.

I mean, it must be really empowering to believe you’re incapable of making mistakes.

Me? Well, I tend to get mired down in the muck of self-doubt. I worry about how I am perceived by others. More importantly, my daily life is so governed by an overwhelming sense of guilt and hypercritical introspection that it often renders me unproductive (case in point: my last blog post was dated Christmas Eve).

Ah, but not Sarah Palin. Indeed she is the Ed Wood of politics, her entire career  a B-rate horror flick which, regardless of its bad script and poor timing, she seems to fancy worthy of an Oscar. Not to mention that, like Ed Wood, Mrs. Palin has managed to convince a small group of Christians to invest in her freakshow.

Which makes it even more ironic that Palin chose to play the role of the persecuted Jew when she invoked the controversial term “blood libel” in her statement to the public last week.  Reuters:

"Especially within hours of a tragedy unfolding, journalists and pundits should not manufacture a blood libel that serves only to incite the very hatred and violence they purport to condemn," Palin, a potential 2012 White House contender, said in a video posted to her Facebook page.

Palin's reference to "blood libel," a false, centuries-old allegation that Jews were killing children to use their blood in religious rituals, launched a new round of criticism of Palin's rhetoric.

"We wish that Palin had used another phrase, instead of one so fraught with pain in Jewish history," said Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League.

The accusation of "blood libel" has been employed for centuries to justify the killing or expulsion of Jews. The phrase had been used by other conservative commentators, including a Wall Street Journal column, since the shooting of Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who is Jewish.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I don’t for a minute think Sarah Palin is responsible for the tragic shooting in Tuscon, AZ. I also don’t fault her for using the loaded term (most likely chosen by her team of speech writers), a term of which I doubt she herself knew the historical relevance prior to giving that statement.

However, if Palin indeed is interested in "playing the Jew" to win sympathy votes in 2012, I was thinking, why not put her money where her mouth is?

And so, as an unofficial representative of the non-practicing, mildly sacreligious Jewish community, I invite Mrs. Palin to come join our team! Along with my offer, here are some incentives for her to consider:

--hunting and fishing skills + proximity to Alaskan salmon = all-you-can-eat lox with those Sunday morning bagels!

--Her conversion would add some fresh Jewish flavor to Alaska (Jew pop: 3,000), flavor the state has been lacking ever since Dr. Joel Fleischman closed his Northern Exposure practice.

--Despite how much we enjoy talking about penises (AKA schlongs, schmeckels, schwantzen, schmucks, and putzes ) Jews have one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates of all religious groups. Cough, cough.

--Think how much more authentic her Facebook Hannukah wishes would have come across had you read them knowing she'd done the Hebrew-to-English translation of  “נס גדול היה שם” herself!

--I can see it now: party favor boxers emblazoned with I DANCED MY PANTS OFF AT PIPER'S BAT MITZVAH across the ass.

--moose = chews cud + cloven hooves = kosher!

--And finally, and most importantly, let's be honest: Couldn’t this narcissistic, smack-talking, crosshair-posting, painfully unapologetic excuse for a “maverick” use a dose of good old-fashioned Jewish guilt right about now?

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the Tsaritsa said...

Haha, she could definitely benefit from some self-awareness. For someone who only thinks of herself, you'd figure she'd realize how phoney she seems.

By the way, did you catch her press release she sent out after the video? She compares the treatment she received on Twitter to being carted away in a train with her family to a death camp. Bitch needs to get a grip.

tsada kay said...

No, I didn't see that press release, Tsaritsa! Death camp? Really? That's pretty crazy. Way more inflammatory than "blood libel" for sure.

Happy New Year to you, too, BTW!

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