Jun 22, 2011

Vacation Decontamination

Nothing tends to irritate me more than when a blogger takes some time away from blogging only to return with profuse apologies of wah wah wah I'm sorry I've been away wah wah, followed by copious excuses as to why.

No need to apologize for your absence, dude. As if it's been a real hardship for your readers to click on  a collection of The Most Plaintive Cries of I Hate Everything instead of your blog when wasting time at work. As. If.

So since I'm returning after some unblogging time back East, I won't pretend to be sorry for being gone or, more importantly, I won't pretend that you cared that I wasn't here in the first place.

What I will say is that there are few things my claustrophobic, acrophobic, germaphobic ass hates more than flying, and few things that it loves more than coming home, particularly the feeling of climbing, fully decontaminated, into my own delicious bed after my ceremonial post-airplane Silkwood shower.

Slipping, well steamed and scrubbed, between my soft, clean bed sheets last night, almost made it okay that fucking Jet Blue sat me in the only aisle with no working Direct TV, on a night where there were not one, but three Real Housewives episodes scheduled to air during my six-hour flight time.


*flips tray table*

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The Lazy Paperboy said...

Amen and good for you. I like this approach to unblogging, too.

tsada kay said...

Awesomeness, TLP. Although I wish I could have bought y'all some clamz back east!

Jr Deputy Accountant said...

And you wouldn't have had to yell at me as I run the wrong way down a one way street either.

I have to make a point of informing my readers that I'm dropping off for anything more than a day - learned my lesson when I took a two day vacation to molesterbate TLP on the other side of the country and was inundated with "OMG are you OK did the black helicopters finally get you?!" emails.

Won't be making that mistake again (the informing, not the molesterbating).

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