Jul 15, 2011

Suck It, Cheese: Discharge Redux

A while back I wrote about my decision to eliminate dairy products from my diet. This post is an update on how that’s all working for me.

Last month I went on vacation to the East coast. I made the decision, prior to my trip, that I would suspend my dietary restrictions for the twelve or so days that I was away.

During this time I consumed:

--pizza at Famiglia (NYC)

--cannoli at Café Palermo (NYC) and Mike’s Pastry (Boston)

--cheese blintzes with sour cream at the Carnegie Deli (NYC)

--ice cream at Christina’s (Cambridge)

--sponge cake topped with fruit and whipped cream from Eldo Cake House (Boston)

--Tasti-D-Lite (NYC)

--pumpernickel bagel slathered with cream cheese from H&H (NYC)

--clam chowder (no pork but extra butter and cream) at Dolphin (Cambridge)

--grilled veggie sub oozing with melted provolone at d’Angelo (somewhere in Buttfuck, Connecticut)

--steamers, lobster, baked-stuffed shrimp, all drenched in drawn butter

--random bits of cheese and cream along the way

Each of the above represents a special, delicious bite of my youth, all of them sweet memories only relivable via the taste buds, as far as I’m concerned.

Nonetheless, during this two-week span, I began to experience the following:

-- sinus irritation and inflammation, including post-nasal drip and congestion

--swollen extremities/severely achy joints

--facial redness

--bumpy, itchy, scaly eczema on my arms and legs

--hella acne

--weight gain of approximately three pounds

--constipation of epic proportions

-- an early menstrual period accompanied by uncharacteristically strong cramps


--stinky farts

Was it worth it? Debatable. There’s an old refrigerator magnet adage--Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Given my experiences earlier this summer, I’m starting to think that sentiment applies more broadly in regard to the mind-body connection.

“Nothing tastes as good as feeling good feels.”

Looking back over the past few weeks, I have to acknowledge that, while I might still cut a bitch for a Mike’s cannoli or a butter-soaked mollusk, the fleeting moments of joy and satisfaction derived from eating all those milky treats were, in retrospect, narrowly eclipsed by the physical discomfort I experienced in the wake of their consumption.

It’s been about three weeks since I returned from my trip, and I am, once again, dairy-free. It took only a few days for my skin to rid itself of the eczema and acne. The excess weight I had gained melted away in about ten days, plus another pound or two as well! The bloating and swelling have subsided, gone with the gas, the achy feet and ankles. The allergies are continuing to clear, and my inflamed, reddish skin has reveted back, oh-so ironically, to a blissful milky white.

And the poops? Well, just be glad this isn’t a photo blog.
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Gretchen said...

butter-soaked mollusk


tsada kay said...

I want a clam. NOW.

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