About a year ago, my mother was driving on I 93 in Somerville, MA, when she was struck from behind by a woman in a minivan. Fortunately, neither my mother nor the other woman sustained injuries.
“Deeeyah Gahd, I’m so sahh-ree!” The woman apologized, clutching a strand of rosary beads as she inspected the damage to the vehicles. “I didn’t see yah cahh. I wahs sayin’ my six ah'clahhck rosahhry!”
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Elizabeth Carey and her verboten rosary. Image via KETV, Nebraska. |
Well, my first thought was, What? There are gangs in Nebraska? Oh, wait, don’t tell me— Children of the Corn, right?
My second thought was, When did rosary beads become a fashion statement?
So I did a quick Google search resulting in--lo and behold--an endless supply of images depicting douchebags draped in rosary beads. Apparently the trend is particularly popular with the boys from Jersey Shore. OMG.
Now, nobody loves a little sacrilege more than Tsada, but this is too much even for me. Channeling Tony Manero's grandmother in Saturday Night Fever, I shook my head, genuflected, and then, on behalf of douchebags everywhere, prayed for forgiveness in the name of the Lord and Glamour magazine.
But then I found--wait for it--the (un?)official Jersey Shore Rosary Beads website, which states, unequivocally, that there's nothing at all sacrilegious going on here:
Q: Is it sacrilegious to wear a rosary beads as a necklace?
A: No. One you have to be a believer, second Rosary Beads are just that, Beads. If you enjoy them, wear them. Sacrilege is is the use of holy objects in a non-religious manner. Christ says that none is holy but the Lord. Just be careful that your wearing of the Beads is not a prideful thing. Pride would be the sin, not wearing the Beads.
And of course there's nothing "prideful [sic]" about Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino (pictured in the image at the top of this post). Gloating, vain, boastful, conceited, self-aggrandizing, and obnoxious, sure. But "prideful [sic]"? Nah.
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Oh hai. I always wear my rosary when I go swimming. (Jersey Shore's Pauly D.) |
I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before the Sitch gets a Cease and Desist letter from Jesus’ attorney. Because Lord knows this shit just ain’t right.
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